…and yes, we should. The Asian man makes up 85% of the American population…okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit, but apparently that’s what it seems like. Despite how prevalent we are, we’re the most stereotyped, disregarded, and shunned off demographic in modern culture today. As much as African Americans and Latinos are constantly mocked on your everyday late-night comedy programs, they have well overcome those obstacles and garnered a rudimentary cultural respect from the public eye. They have gained plenty of lead roles in American box-office hits, become revered centers of tabloid headlines, produced popular television programs of various genres, raced across Billboard music charts of all categories, and won numerous Oscars.
Where is the Asian man at? Computer office geek, Hiro Nakamura? Martial arts stars, Jackie Chan and Jet Li? “Anna…oh yeah, and the King’s” Chow-Yun Fat, soon to be Master Roshi in the Dragon Ball Z flick? What about Sammo Hung from Martial Law, which lasted 2 seasons? Or Ken Leung aka “porcupine-man” from X-Men: The Last Stand? Hmm, there was an Asian doctor with a minor role in Knocked Up…but I can’t seem to remember his name for some really odd reason. Of course, what about famed director, Ang Lee, who directed a homoerotic cowboy movie, a superhero movie that tanked, and an “avant-garde” thriller-drama with 15 minutes of rapacious sex between a traitor to China and his Asian mistress/undercover spy? I could definitely keep going, but let’s carry on…
There is also this pathetic “Yellow Fever” epidemic and if you’re not familiar with the term, why don’t I let Urban Dictionary best define it for you. Here you go:
Yellow fever – A term usually applied to white males who have a clear sexual preference for women of Asian descent, although it can also be used in reference to white females who prefer Asian men.
On to exhibit 1: Yellow Fever by Wong Fu Productions
First off, as funny as it may be, we as Asian men need to get this straight. Stop joking about it and stop victimizing yourself because unless we take any determined action to bring an end to it, I assure you 100%, nothing is going to change. Comedy doesn’t change anything because its very definition is listening to an idea, and accepting it for what it is, no matter how ironic.
I notice that a ton of Asian guys are in college Christian groups where they regularly interact with Asian girls, but only on a platonic level. ATTENTION: Your race is at the risk of its own extinction and you can save it. God gave you the ability to pro-create. He tore off one of your fellow man’s ribs, for God’s sake (pun intended), to give him a lifelong partner. If you are infatuated with a girl in your fellowship, I challenge you to ask her out right this second. No, don’t laugh about it (remember what I said about laughter). Do it.
On to exhibit 2: Why Asian Girls Go For White Guys
Pathetic. I certainly can agree that some Asian guys are too shy around girls, which is why you need to take a stand! Stop taking this bullsh*t and stand up for yourself. I have had crushes on a number of Asian girls who have told me they “only go for white guys”. Let me tell you something, if you ever find yourself in one of those situations, the complete truth of the matter is, THEY ARE NOT WORTH IT AND YOU DESERVE MUCH MUCH BETTER. I will say this blatantly: None of the girls in that video are worth your time. They’re deranged and I’m sure you can figure out for yourself, quite illogical. I’m not telling you to stop trying. Keep working up the courage to ask an Asian girl out because really, what’s your loss? If they reject and ignore you afterwards, you just skipped over a landmine and found out the type of person they really are. Believe me, although you may have already run into several of these destroyers of your race, there are exceptions out there. I have experience:)
You notice that in our society today, plenty of Asian girls are white-washed and subconsciously think of Caucasians as the dominant ethnic group. This is one reason why they willingly submit to the Caucasian man who asks her out. Now, let me say firsthand, that they’re not to blame at all. Who can you blame then? Answer: the media. The Asian man is constantly being stereotypically bullied away by movies, magazines, music…Abercrombie & Fitch. Even listen to this: Bloodhound Gang – Yellow Fever. And what did I say about comedy again?
So what do we do? Well, I notice that some Asians become offended whenever these racial prejudices are thrown against them. I used the term “offended” for a reason. When you take offense at something, you demonstrate hurt, as in you’ve been damaged, whether emotionally, physically, or what have you. Solution: DO NOT TAKE OFFENSE AT ANY OF THIS LOW-CLASS GARBAGE. “Ching Chang Chong”, “Chink”, “Kung Fu Karate Old Asian Man”, “Do my math, Asian kid!”, “You play the piano, right?” IGNORE IT. And most important of all, ACT BEYOND IT. What I mean by that is show what you’re really made of through your actions. Fight the system “by any means necessary”. Maybe we do need our own Malcolm X, but hopefully the situation never leads to that level of aggression and animosity. A very wise cliche: “Actions speak louder than words”. State your demands, pursue a passion, rise to greatness and eventually the world will finally yield.
One last word of advice not from me, but from the great philosopher known as Batman:
“It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.”
Madness??? This is China!!!…and Hong Kong…and every other Asian country out there. “Yellow fever” is dead. Let’s see to that statement in the coming future ahead.
- The Angry Asian Batman
